i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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