i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
