so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize