it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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