So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
