i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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