His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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