BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
