You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize