One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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