Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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