Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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