Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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