No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
