so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
