it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There's always time for handjobs
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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