What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
