GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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