Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
