There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
