So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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