Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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