and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
