i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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