Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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