He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
