I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
