I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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