I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish you could order shots online.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
