dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
