PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
