Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
