It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
