And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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