I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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