Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
