I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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