Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
