Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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