Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
