Im at strip club and am horny
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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