Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
