And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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