Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
