Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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