and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize