3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize