I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
