woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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