who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
