Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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