Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
