talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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