He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
