The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
