he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
