Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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