Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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