no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
