Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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