last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
