She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
