I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
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