You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
