Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
