Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
